Ashley is the master of knocking back beverages. He’s arguably the best in the business. But this wasn’t always the case. He started off as a humble four-pinter, calling it a day at 11pm, content with grabbing a chicken burger on the way home. It was the best of times, but also the worst of times.
It was only until university came along, and a single fateful night with Fireball whiskey, when his life truly changed. Caught in a whirlwind of pale ales, scotch whiskies, sourz shots and the occasional glass of wine, his drinking stamina grew as quickly as his hair and his waistline. Somehow though, amidst all the booziness, he managed to forge a career in writing — eventually winding up working on betting.co.uk. And now, with hard-fought funding from our landlords, is also the producer of the ‘3 Pints’ podcast.
When he’s not drinking or podcasting, Ashley is trying to paint. He also spends much of his time justifying his long hair to his friends and family. He supports Liverpool, even though he’s from Manchester. He also takes a somewhat keen interest in horse racing and tries to play the piano. And that’s really it.
Nick appears to be a refined man. Simplicity and elegance rule out. Of course, when it comes to alcohol, these two abstracts are often neglected. He is considered to be the master manipulator of the single malt; the avid arbiter of the aperitif; and the sanctimonious seeker of a superior spiced rum. All of that may sound impressive, but all it really means, of course, is that he has a basic understanding of alliteration, he can Google big words, oh, and he can no longer sup cheap lager like he used to, much to his and all of his peers’ disappointment. He is still unsure how he landed a role on a podcast about drinking but is very willing to go with the proverbial flow.
When he isn’t failing to keep up with the booze, you can find Nick declaring his love for left-wing politics on Twitter or playing FIFA (2016 div. 2 Seasons champion, and the proud manager of a 94 rated career-mode Danny Ings). Though both of those things are mere distractions from his true passion; Shakespearian trivia. Nick was once ranked 3rd in the world on the ever-popular mobile game Quiz Up! in the Shakespeare category. He also likes to apply unsuccessfully for The Chase, (seriously now Brad, I’ve tried four times).
Frankly, you’d think that with his humble demeanour and razor-sharp wit he’d be famous already. An avid Leeds United fan and a keen follower of the NFL for his sins, he also enjoys trying to read, trying to write and trying to make his fortune in rather arbitrary ways.
Jordan likes to think he’s the creative type, but truth be told he’s a Yorkshireman at heart. They tend to enjoy the simple pleasures in life: a warm bed, food on the table, KES on a constant loop in the living room and forty five bottles of beer in the fridge – it was a weird childhood. It’s rarely warm in Yorkshire, even in the beds and he hates KES with the burning passion of a thousand dying stars – although you can’t say he doesn’t eat well, not since he invented the Yorkshire pudding sandwich anyway.
As for his drinking habits, like a Shakespearian tragedy, his love affair with the cheapest lager to hand ended not so long ago in a cluster of head-splitting hangovers and blurry visions of nights swilled away in Fosters. If you can believe it, he now thinks himself more of a wine drinker (with some exceptions), but don’t tell his family that or they’ll cover the breadth of England to hold an intervention.
He’s a writer by trade, although exactly what he writes is hard to pin down. This, that and everything really, including: podcast bios, angry reviews of Uber Eats and shopping lists (although he’s never really got the hang of the last one). Like all 90s kids, he knows all 150 original Pokemon, reluctantly went to see Busted with his mum, and has a deep desire to see Ant & Dec run the country. Massive Liverpool fan, you know, the CHAMPIONS OF EVERYTHING, but even more of a fan of sitting round with his mates eating crisps and drinking booze. Well… maybe…
What you’ve got to look forward to:
We all love a pub quiz. It’s the bit where you win that feels the best. There’s just something glorious about beating a bunch of middle-aged drunks on their own turf. Each week we test two of three of our participants’ knowledge on sports. In the end, we’ll know who’s the most knowledgeable; but whether they’re the smartest is another question.
Desert Island Crisps
Ever wondered what a famous celebrity’s favourite maize or potato-based snack is? Curious as to which three bags they would take with them if stranded on a desert island? Does anybody really need to know this? Probably not. But we don’t care. Our in-house expert Mr. Crunch, alongside cutting questions from your piss-pot co-hosts, will dive deep into the psyche of our special guest expressed by their favourite bag of crisps.
Even though we’re drunk, we still like to discuss big topics. And that’s why each week the guys will bring in a YouTube clip special to them, to hopefully spark some discussion.